RELATIONAL LIFE THERAPY
Helping couples remember they are on the same side.
You love each other, but you’re on the brink.
You’ve tried so hard.
You’ve read the books, followed a range of advice, maybe even sat through couples therapy that felt more like paying to have a fight, rather than offering real help.
But here you remain, stuck in the same conflicts, the same distance, the same weight of a relationship that feels harder than it should.
Maybe sometimes you’re hoping things will shift on their own. Yet on the worst days, you’re exhausted, resentful, or numb, knowing it never will.
On the surface, things might seem fine. You’ve been holding it together. Maybe your friends haven’t noticed yet.
But inside, you’re wondering: How long can we keep living like this?
You’re tired of things feeling THIS hard:
Locked in a cycle of repeated and unresolved conflicts
Overwhelmed by feelings of resentment and frustration
Triggered by experiences from the past and unconsciously sabotaging your own relationship
Blind-sided by the challenges of raising a family
Feeling like your once-strong connection is all but gone
Figuring it out alone isn’t working. Speaking with therapists who nod politely isn’t it, either.
You don’t need more soft guidance or vague encouragement. You need truth, direction and a path through.
Because if this relationship is going to work, and you want it to, these time-worn patterns have to change.
That means both of you showing up differently, with honesty, accountability and a willingness to grow. A light needs to be shone on the challenges you’re facing, so that things can really change.
That’s where Relational Life Therapy comes in.
How couples awaken + Relational life therapy can help
RLT shows you what’s causing the never-ending conflict - and how to stop it
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) isn’t couples therapy ‘business as usual’. This approach is different - and it works.
RLT opens your eyes to what is going on in your relationship, where the roadblocks are, where the pain is - and most importantly what you can do about it.
Here are the key steps of the RLT process:
UNDERSTANDING THE DANCE
We start by getting clear on what’s really happening between you - especially the painful and repetitive cycles you both get pulled into. Together, we’ll take a look at the roles you are playing in this dynamic and get honest about the impact its having on your both.WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?
As an experienced IFS and trauma therapist, I know that our early experiences shape us all. Even a loving or happy childhood doesn’t necessarily teach you the skills needed for a healthy, adult relationship. In our work together, we’ll explore the experiences that shaped each partner. We’ll honour what’s valid about these, while also being clear on ways you can prevent past pain impacting those around you.
YOU WEREN’T TAUGHT THIS STUFF…
You’ll learn new ways to express your needs, upsets and perspectives, this time in a way that fosters closeness rather than creating more distance. Instead of shutting down or losing your temper, you’ll practice speaking up with love and clarity, so that both of you can feel more seen, valued and connected in the relationship.
And as we go along? I’ll be there. To challenge, to encourage, at times to call you out - always from a place of compassion, care and empowerment. I’m on your team, and here to remind you that you are both on the same side too.
RLT with me is…
Truth that’s kind - and clear
Rooted in compassion AND accountability
Change that feels real
Tools that actually work
RLT with me is not…
Respectful AND challenging
About a neutral stance, no matter what
Passive therapy - all voices are needed
Avoiding or glossing over problems
Keeping the peace at all costs
About asking you to settle for less
RLT goes where other therapy often can’t — it speaks to the part of you that can actually take the truth in and do something with it.
imagine if you…
Re-awakened a passionate and strong connection
You feel like true teammates again: aligned, emotionally connected, sharing dreams and rediscovering intimacy that feels real and alive.
Could let yourself be vulnerable again and experience fierce intimacy
With a renewed trust that repair and harmony is possible, you know how to make meaningful amends and can truly learn to see your partner again. In turn, intimacy deepens and vulnerability begins to feel safe again.
Cultivate deep empathy for each other - even when you disagree
It’s like opening a positive Pandora’s box: packed to the brim with skills and relationship treasures you can take into daily life. Learning golden nuggets no one ever taught you, and healing deeply together? That’s priceless for your health, your happiness, and your future as a couple.
In addition to regular therapy sessions, I specialise in couples intensives using RLT.
I want you to know:
Change is possible.
Let’s face the reality of where you are, together - with honesty, clarity, and empowered collaboration. You’ll leave with sustainable skills to carry your partnership through this next chapter and far beyond.
faqs
Common questions about Relational Life Therapy:
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Relational Life Therapy (RLT), developed by Terry Real, is a direct, transformative approach to couples therapy. Unlike traditional models that may take a more passive or long-term pathway, RLT is active and results-oriented. It helps couples quickly identify unhealthy dynamics, break long-standing patterns, and create more honest, connected, and empowered relationships. RLT doesn’t just aim to resolve conflict, it teaches the skills of relational living, helping each partner take responsibility while fostering deep emotional intimacy. If you’ve tried talk therapy and still feel stuck, RLT offers a more structured, honest, and accelerated path forward.
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Yes it can. While RLT is powerful when both partners are engaged, real change can begin with just one person. If you’re feeling stuck, unseen, or overwhelmed in your relationship, starting therapy on your own can be a meaningful step. RLT focuses on personal accountability and relational skill-building, so individual work often leads to shifts in the dynamic, even before your partner is ready to participate. Many clients begin solo and later invite their partner into the process once they see the impact.
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As with all therapy, your mileage may vary. Having said that, one of the strengths of Relational Life Therapy, especially in an intensive format, is how quickly couples can experience meaningful change. Instead of months of weekly sessions, a couples intensive allows us to dive deep over one or two focused days. You’ll leave with greater clarity, practical tools, and a shared language for moving forward. While every couple’s journey is unique, many experience significant breakthroughs and a renewed sense of connection after just one intensive. Follow-up support is also available to help integrate what you’ve learned and keep on track if needed.
Ready to get started?